Who Am I? The Anatomy of a Jajabor at a Crossroads

Who am I? It’s a tough one to answer. But if I had to sum it up in a single, quirky sentence: I am an Asian Indian in this immigrant country, the USA, where I am simultaneously neither and both.

Yet, I love this land. It has shaped me, tested me, and rebuilt me into the person I am today. Professionally, I am a lifelong learner. Though I am now in my 50s, I still look at my career in software engineering and sometimes wonder: Did I sign up for too much?

By nature, I am relentlessly inquisitive, always seeking new adventures—and among the greatest of those adventures is simply getting to know people. I love cultures. Knowing a few languages and living across different countries—moving through multiple distinct cities in both of them—has been a massive blessing in disguise.

At heart, I am still a vagabond. Or, as we say in Bengali, a Jajabor (যাঝাবর).

Recently, my constant wandering and deep-seated wanderlust have been forced into a pause due to family obligations. Yet, looking out at the horizon, I can foresee changes coming—soon.

Food, travel, books, documentaries, music, and movies are closest to my heart. I struggle to stay still; I enjoy keeping active through long walks, hitting the gym, playing table tennis, or practicing yoga. Meditation is what keeps me grounded, and lately, I’ve been diving deeply into theology—particularly Buddhism and the timeless psychological landscape of the Bhagavad Gita. Professionally, I’m an IT nerd, though I’ll admit I sometimes wish I had chosen a raw, outdoorsy path.

The Geography of My Soul: From Lucknow to Syracuse

My childhood in India was pure fun, spent navigating a beautiful, complex mosaic of identities. My family originally hails from the Nawabi region of Lucknow, and my DNA belongs to Uttar Pradesh (UP). Every few years, our lives were interspersed with traditional, chaotic family marriages up north, or long, humid summers spent in UP and Bihar.

But I consider myself culturally Bengali (a "Bong") through and through, because I grew up in Calcutta.

The 80s and 90s bourgeois middle-class life of South Calcutta—with its heavy, intellectual Marxist undercurrent—completely shaped my formative years. My worldview was built on the foundations of Durga Puja, arthouse movies at Nandan, Satyajit Ray films, a mix of classical and Bollywood music, and long hours of intense study around College Street.

Then came idyllic Goa.

Goa was my true intellectual awakening. I spent over half a decade there, earning my second undergraduate degree (my final year of a BSc in Physics) followed by my first Master’s degree. It was where I tasted real independence, landed my first job, and cashed my very first paycheck.

[The DNA] Uttar Pradesh / Lucknow 
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[The Ethos & Mindset] Calcutta (Bourgeois / Marxist Undercurrents)
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[The Independence] Goa (Intellectual Awakening & Physics)
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[The Rebirth] Syracuse, New York (The Capitalist Democracy)

From Goa, I migrated to Syracuse, New York, for my second Master’s degree. Looking back, Syracuse is where I was reborn into this other democracy. I moved from the world’s largest democracy (India) to the world’s strongest democracy (the USA)—a place where everything felt like the absolute polar opposite to the socialistic, community-driven, traditionalist, non-individualistic India I left behind. As I like to frame it, our two countries are separated by a shared democracy.

So, when someone asks me where in India I am from, the answer is never simple. I always tell them: I am from UP by DNA, but actually from Calcutta by ethos and mindset, but really from Goa by virtue of my independence and intellectual maturity.

For those who are psychologically inclined, I operate as an ENTJ personality type.

The Sweet Spot of Fatherhood

Relationship-wise, I am divorced, but happily and actively co-parenting a daughter who constantly challenges me. She is a daily reminder of why those few pounds of gray matter between her ears constitute the most intriguing, esoteric, and beautiful substance known to humanity.

Right now, she is at the absolute best age for a parent. She is old enough to give me sudden, breathtaking glimpses of her future maturity, only to pivot in a jiffy and remind me that she is still just an adorable, innocent child.

I am a software nerd, a spiritual seeker, a father, and an immigrant. But above all, the Jajabor in me is waking up again.